Ink Tea Stone Leaf

The sixth year of my marriage to Ariele has officially begun, and it’s a special milestone indeed. Our wedding took place very close to the fifth anniversary of our first date, which means that in the coming months I will at last be able to say that I have spent the majority of my acquaintance with her as her lawful wedded husband. Somehow, that ratio feels even more like being married than getting married did—and every subsequent year will only grow the ratio, until our five years as an unmarried couple will become statistically unimportant in light of the whole.

That’s a paradox, because those five years were among the most important of my life. But then again, perhaps it’s not so paradoxical considering that she is one of the main reasons those years were so important. Those were the years in which I discovered the person I wanted to spend my life with. Those were the years in which I had to get a great deal right, while requiring an extraordinary amount of grace for everything I still got wrong. Before we could commit to loving one another forever, we had to show each other that we could love in the present—and I had never felt so loved before I met her.

Of course, I don’t really believe in the idea of years or “eras” as discrete units of time that can be objectively more or less important than one another. We live after all in a long continuum, always becoming what we’re going to be next. But I do believe in celebration, and today I want to celebrate the best decision I ever made, and the wonderful woman who made that decision feel so natural.

Despite all the challenges we have faced, Ariele embraces life with an open mind and an open heart. She has incredible reservoirs of curiosity and enthusiasm for all her hobbies and interests–cooking and gardening, baseball and music, games and the arts of all kinds. She expects the best of me, even as she accepts the very ridiculous things I am prone to do when I haven’t thought things through. Her kindness and her sense of humor touch me deeply every day. She is beautiful and loving, and being married to her is as natural as breathing air or eating those delicious breads she bakes. I wish I were a better writer, so that I could explain how happy she makes me without falling back on the obvious, but quite frankly my love for her is obvious. Above everything else, I think she is amazing.

We should all be so lucky, to be with the person who makes us feel good about being ourselves, and still want to be better.

I love you, Ariele—this year and every other to come.